Jessica's Blog

jlin2010 — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 16:50:21 +0000

“Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.”

-Sigmund Freud

Just theories.

jlin2010 — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:54:20 +0000

I have theories about what it takes to talk to you again.

I have theories about what normal is supposed to feel like.

I have theories about how many times a heart can be heard.

Just theories.

-I Wrote This For You

That Girl.

jlin2010 — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 00:49:16 +0000

I will be twenty years old in exactly three days. Turning 20 signifies the end of my teenage years. I guess that means I am no longer a child, although honestly, I haven’t been a child in a long time. I am constantly working, cooking, and taking care of myself and my cat. This week, I am working over thirty hours, which doesn’t seem like a whole lot but it’s really something I’m gonna have to get used to. I like staying busy though, even if that means juggling school with a part-time job.
I basically begged my GM to put me on the schedule for the 24th (my birthday) so I can be off on the 26th and be home for Christmas to see my wonderful family and my sweet boyfriend.
Lately, I’ve been feeling so proud of my boyfriend. He just quit the job he’s been having since high school to work a full-time job in retail. Whenever I complain or feel bad about working so much, I just have to remember that Billy works more than me and doesn’t complain. He’s really just the best motivation there is for me to do better.

On a side note, this is Emma’s very first Christmas, ever. So far, she’s already gotten a new collar, a new stuffed animal to chew on, and lots of yummy treats. She’s becoming such a spoiled little princess

Happy Holidays, everyone.

jlin2010 — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 06:03:26 +0000

1. One thing you want: Four years into the future and a Master’s degree.

2. Two people you want to be with right now: My mom and Jonathan.

3. Three of your favorite movies ever: The Blind Side, The Devil Wears Prada, and Did You Hear About the Morgans?

4. Four of your favorite memories: The day Jeffery was born, growing up with my brothers, Seattle during summer of 2009/2010, and bringing Emma home for the first time.

5. Five things you’d like to do before you die: Be successful, build a home/family, move out of Louisiana, travel, and grow old with the love of my life.

I just wanna love you.

jlin2010 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 08:21:37 +0000

I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there’d be sunshine every day
I’ll give you everything I have
The good, the bad

Why do you put me on a pedestal?
I’m so up high that I can’t see the ground below
So help me down, you’ve got it wrong
I don’t belong there.

One thing is clear,
I wear a halo, I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here,
You wouldn’t say so, you wouldn’t say so if you were me, and I
I just wanna love you
Oh, I, I just wanna love you.

The most wonderful time of year.

jlin2010 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 05:24:35 +0000

I’ve been super super busy lately. With school, with work, with school. I’ve been working at my new job, at Gap, for about three weeks now. I’ve become one of those annoying, stalker-ish people that keep following you around and asking if you are finding what you’re looking for. I still have a lot to learn, obviously, but I’m loving it here, especially so close to the holidays. I was talking to one of my coworkers the other day, who told me that last year, Gap was not allowed to play Christmas music like the rest of the mall. So hopefully this changes for this year. I love this time of year — with all the rushing holiday shoppers. Mostly everyone is in a good mood, which makes my job easier and more fun. Our store is now filled with fake presents that I had to wrap (with yarn!), and holiday colors on the wall and lots of scarves and outerwear. This is my absolutely favorite time of year, and I just wish it would last longer than a couple of months. Just you wait until the radio and the department stores begin to play holiday music. Then I will be in absolute heaven.

My third round of exams are this week, thus, my all-nighter studying for History. The only thing getting me through this is seeing my wonderful boyfriend on Tuesday and seeing my sweet family this weekend. It’s been a month since I’ve been with my family, so I’m really looking forward to it. Unfortunately, being a seasonal employee at Gap won’t allow me to spend my entire Thanksgiving/winter holidays with them. But I keep telling myself that this retail experience will be good for me.

jlin2010 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:12:29 +0000

A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate. The one you can tell your dreams to. He’ll brush the hair out of your eyes. Send you flowers when you least expect it. He’ll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $8 to see it. He’ll call to say good night or just because he’s missing you. He’ll look in your eyes and tell you, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and for the first time in your life, you’ll believe it.

-Nicholas Sparks

Here’s to living out our dreams.

jlin2010 — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 08:55:18 +0000

It’s 3:47AM right now, and I am pulling my second all-nighter since I started going to college. Pathetic, I know. But usually I don’t let myself procrastinate until last minute, so there is no need for these insane circumstances.
My psych instructor told us “how” to study/prepare for exams. Basically, sleep is important for processing information, blah blah blah. It wasn’t until now that I understand. All these biology terms are starting to look and sound the same in my head. Even the words I’m typing are blending into blurry characters.
I need to do this. I just ran out in the kitchen to make some strong, black coffee, and I’m playing music (quietly, of course). I went to all these Biology classes and I understand what he is talking about in class. I actually pay attention in this class, because for once in my life, I enjoy learning Biology. However, I got an 88.5 on my last exam and that set me over the edge. I should’ve gotten an A, and that’s why I’m staying up all night to ace this exam.
I tried going to sleep. I put in Something Borrowed that just came through Netflix in my mailbox. I’ve been waiting to watch this movie forever, so I guess I shouldn’t expect it to put me to sleep. I kept telling myself it would be alright to fall asleep during the movie. But the end credits started, and I became desperate.
I miss Emma. I miss home. I don’t really like it here in Baton Rouge. I actually hate it more every day that I’m here. More importantly, I cannot believe my Biology professor is giving us an exam the day before Fall Break, because that means no stopping until the end.

Sincerely, yours.

jlin2010 — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 05:37:09 +0000

Maybe your first love is the one that sticks with you because it’s the only person who will receive all of you. After that, you know better and you learn from it. But most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remains left behind in the heart of the one you loved – a piece no future lover could get, no matter what. That piece holds innocence, the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error, that kiss you’ll never forget, and that night under the stars that you can never get back. It holds youth and everything you thought love would be.

It took me forever, but I finally realized. You’ve changed, we’ve changed. Everything has changed. I’m not comfortable about you like I was. We’re back to making small talk, because we have nothing else to talk about. We’ve drifted so far apart that we’ve forgotten everything we’ve been through. It’s like we’re strangers, and this time, you forgot about me.

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

jlin2010 — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 02:07:18 +0000

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face, and that you’d be reminded that for me,
it isn’t over.

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don’t forget me, I beg
“I’ll remember”, you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.